An Open Letter to PETA

Dear PETA,

I read your recent tweet, and I see that you’ve been watching English idioms like a hawk. You’re mad as a hornet about “bringing home the bacon”, but culture changes at a snail’s pace.

You’re busy as a bee, trying to open a can of worms but the rest of us don’t want to be your guinea pigs. People can’t just quit cold turkey. They would feel like a fish out of water, not being able to use their favorite idioms.

In this dog eat dog world, wasting one’s time on a wild goose chase before getting your ducks in a row can really make you feel like monkey’s uncle.

We understand that animal idioms are your pet peeve but a little birdie told me that trying to change the world can give some people butterflies in their stomach.

Rather than running around like a bull in a china shop, maybe choose just one; just the pick of the litter, and focus on it. It still won’t be like shooting fish in a barrel, but it’s easier than trying to teach all the old dogs, a bunch of new tricks.

Next, let’s address the elephant in the room.  Your organization has been a one trick pony for a long time and the lions share of the population don’t agree with your platform. You’re being pig-headed and that really gets my goat. 

You may think I’m offering my suggestions as a wolf in sheep’s clothing but right now, you’re all bark and no bite. In the meantime, maybe you should hold your horses and let sleeping dogs lie. Most people who use these idioms wouldn’t hurt a fly.