Category: funny

Stories, poems, and things that have happened in my life. I think they’re kind of amusing. I hope you will too.

Home Invasion

Home Invasion

Since separating from my wife about two years ago, I’ve mostly lived in Air B&B’s. I spent some time at a friends house here and there, but I don’t feel comfortable imposing on my friends and I’ve also been eager to try out different areas of town. I’d like to get a feel for where …

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I like to be Early to Meetings

I like to be Early to Meetings

For almost twenty years, I ran a consulting practice. I designed and built systems for businesses. I developed a content management system for ClearChannel. I made a filming permit system for the city of Los Angeles. I created a costing system for an integrated chip manufacturer. I’ve instituted, maintained and upgraded systems for clients in …

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Short People at Brothels

Short People at Brothels

During my 23-year marriage, my ex-wife and I had an open relationship. This had little or nothing to do with why the marriage ended. It is merely a fact. It isn’t much more interesting than bowling; we did that too. We bowled together most of the time but, if we wanted to, we were free …

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Apple Products

Apple Products

I like my iPhone. It’s a few generations old, so I don’t have the animojis (I wish I could be a talking unicorn, but I can’t justify the expense). I have a MacBook that I carry with me, and a Mac Mini on my desk at home. I also have an Ipad. Oh yes, and …

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Coconut Oil, Masturbation, and a CPAP Machine

Coconut Oil, Masturbation, and a CPAP Machine

About five years ago, I started snoring.  If you ask my ex-wife, it has been longer than that, but it didn’t get to the point where I was waking myself until then. I’d been disturbing her for some time, allegedly. A CPAP machine is a medical device that helps prevent certain types of snoring. It …

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My Mid-Life Underwear Crisis

My Mid-Life Underwear Crisis

Does everyone go through a mid-life crisis?  I was going to start this article with a statement that everyone does.  Then, I thought about it.  Maybe not everyone does. Perhaps some have multiple, possibly concurrent, mid-life crisis. While others have none. I’ve had a few myself, so I think it’s a universal thing but, this …

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An Open Letter to PETA

An Open Letter to PETA

Dear PETA, I read your recent tweet, and I see that you’ve been watching English idioms like a hawk. You’re mad as a hornet about “bringing home the bacon”, but culture changes at a snail’s pace. You’re busy as a bee, trying to open a can of worms but the rest of us don’t want …

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Midioms: Mixed up Idioms

Midioms: Mixed up Idioms

Turn up the clock as you wind back the page.Dogs act like ponies as you show your age. Picture of ass and a piece of good health.Share the surprise when you’re taken by wealth. Stick to a head when you’re forging your guns.Work off your fancy while I tickle your buns. At the drop of …

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Hotels and Fruit

Hotels and Fruit

I believe the quality of fruit in a hotel lobby can be a good barometer of the hotel’s service and an indication of the type of people who stay there.  These are a few of my observations about hotels and the fruits they serve. I also believe that the more a hotel tries to broadcast …

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